I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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