the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
