let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
