Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
