I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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