Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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