I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
