OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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