Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Welp...herpes.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
