The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
