waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
