he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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