he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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