sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
