she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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