If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
