i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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