I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
