they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Panties = found
Randomize
