she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
