We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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