1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
