you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
