i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
