butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
