I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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