real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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