Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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