seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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