All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize