Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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