Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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