And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
