i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
