i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
