is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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