I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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