i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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