Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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