I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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