where does the pee come out of this thing
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
