i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
