If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
