Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize