I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
