nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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