its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
