Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
