My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
