I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
