im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
