Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
