honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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