waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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