I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
