You don't have asthma, your pregnant
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
