Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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