I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize