is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
