Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
