I wannas sexs uuuuu
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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