he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
