im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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