carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
