I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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