Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
