You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
