I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
