If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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