Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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